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charleneannemadden

Your Greatest Love Affair

This weekend marks a special day for many people. On Sunday the 14th of February the world recognizes Valentines' Day. This is a day designed to celebrate Love. Much of society will flock to florist shops to purchase roses, or they will pick up boxes of chocolates, sparkly diamonds, and of course the always popular Valentines' Day Card. After these purchases, we will present our offerings to our significant other with the hope that our gifts can possibly convey the emotions that we feel towards our loved ones.


If you happen to be part of the segment of society that still remains unattached and unencumbered by a relationship, this will either be a day of sorrow for you as it is a reminder of the loss of connection and relation in your life, or you will rejoice in the fact that you have not been wooed by marketing companies to spend hundreds of dollars on one day, just to tell your better half that you love them.


What if we shifted the ideals behind what Valentines' Day means? What if we could take this day that was meant for relationships and celebrate our relationship with ourselves? What if we chose to spend time on our most important Love Affair. The one with ourselves.


I know that probably sounds crazy and a little self-centered but hear me out. We spend 364 days of the year with a head full of negative self-talk. We say things to ourselves that we would never say to anyone else. We treat our bodies like they are disposables vessels, and invest our valuable moments of the day in mind-numbing pursuits as ways of alleviating our perceived stresses. What if we took this one day to develop a habit of self-love? Now I am not suggesting that we only take one day a year to practice self-love, but maybe if we could just start with this one day, then we could create a habit of daily practices of self-love. Let's start with baby steps though.


Take some time to think about what some of the things are that you love most about Valentines' Day. Is it the time and attention someone else gives you? Is it the gifts you are presented with? Is it the emotional connection that you are feeling? Digging deep into these questions will help you determine what your love language is, and once you know what your love language is, then you are able to use that language on yourself.


We need to understand that developing a habit of self-love does not eliminate our ability to pour our love out to others. It will actually have the reverse effect. The more time you spend in a state of self-love the more filled your personal cup will be. We are unable to fill others' emotional cups if our emotional cup is empty, so the more love that we show ourselves, the more love we are able to show others.


Self-love doesn't have to mean buying yourself roses and chocolate, but you can do those things if you want. Here is a list of some of the things you can do to express some self-love to yourself.


  1. Spend 5 minutes each day in quiet reflection. This is a great opportunity to Meditate which has been proven to have significant effects on your physical, mental and emotional health.

  2. At the beginning of your day take some time to write in your gratitude journal. This allows you to start your day in a state of gratitude.

  3. At the end of your day take some time to write in your gratitude journal. Bookending your day with positivity is a fantastic way to create the habit of Gratitude.

  4. Make a connection, at least once through your day, with someone you care about. We have all become aware over the last year of the negative effects that lack of connection can have on our lives. Make a call, send a text, Facetime, or send a smoke signal if you have to, but be sure that you are making a connection with someone meaningful in your life.

  5. Remember that this is the only body that you have, so treat it like the temple that it is. We would not treat our friends or loved ones with the same disregard that we treat our bodies. Become conscious of what you are putting in and the movement that you are creating on a daily basis.

  6. And probably one of the most important things you can do for self-love is to speak words of love to yourself. We say a lot of negative things to ourselves on a daily basis, it is time to start wooing ourselves. Start the process of courting yourself, and begin stoking the fires of passion that you deserve to have in your relationship with yourself. Spend a day saying only positive, loving, and encouraging affirmations. Write it down, like you're giving yourself a Valentines Day Card.

These are just a few of the things that you can do each and every day to show yourself the love that you deserve. So take some time this Sunday and show that special person in your life, and I'm talking about YOU, some much-deserved Self Love. Happy Valentines Day!



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